Central Texas is not supposed to be this cold. Seriously, I used to dream of moving to Maine and White Christmases and other ice-glazed fantasies, but I am rethinking that dream.
The Every Cradle is a Grave discussion will have to wait because I simply cannot get it together. I am emotionally unable to pull out what it is I want to say. My mother had a very bad death, one that did not have to happen in a society wherein we understand that it is unacceptable to ask an elderly woman with no higher brain function left due to a hemorrhage, a woman who was terminally ill and close to death before the hemorrhage happened, to starve to death in an irreversible coma because suicide is bad. I’m a failed suicide. There is a successful suicide in my family that haunts some of us, and haunted my mother especially in the months before her death. So yeah, this is an issue carrying a lot of recent and distant emotional baggage for me.
We are having an ashes ceremony for my mother in two weeks and I hope having a ceremonial end to the medically-sanctioned torture that my family endured earlier this year will make it easier for me to complete that discussion. Not in terms of writing – I’ve written a novel about this book. My problem is that I want to say everything at once and I need to get some emotional clarity. Look for it later this month, hopefully.
But before then I have other books I can discuss and will. Actually, I have a shocking number of books to discuss. 2014 was really a lost year in many regards.
I’ve been falling down some true crime holes lately (insomnia was killing me last week and insomnia always means finding weird crap online as I restlessly surf on my phone praying for some REM) and I stumbled across this woman’s blog. Her writing style amuses me and she discusses less-famous murder cases. The case that landed me on her site, the intensely strange story of Albert Brust (a Nazi-loving, untermensch and middle-aged virgin who became a torture killer and incorporated a dead body into a bathroom remodel), is the weakest entry on the site yet is still very interesting, so if you dislike it, keep reading. If you like my verbose style and appreciate sarcasm set to eleven, you’ll like her blog.
So I plan to plow through some discussions as I wait for my brain to open up for Sarah Perry’s opus. Let me know what you’ve been reading or any interesting blogs you’ve come across. (Oh, yeah, I plan to update my favorite sites and writers sidebars soon. I don’t think I’ve messed with it in four years and it is painfully out of date.)
ETA: I made a correction above because it looked like I was damning with faint praise the true crime site I linked to. Not the case, and thanks, reader known as ART, for e-mailing me questions because otherwise it would have gone unnoticed. Bleah.